Including today, I have four official days left at my-life-as-an-academic work. Why do these seem like they might be the longest, most grueling days of my whole academic career? I know intellectually that they are not; after all, I yelled ‘fuck’ at one of my committee members during my dissertation defense, so clearly that day was pretty grueling! And I know I should be happy that I am almost done. But somehow, I dread these days as much as if there were forty of them.
Yesterday, I did a Nia* class on video (since my town, in all of its glory doesn’t have Nia classes, six different belly dancing classes, yes, but no Nia). You may recall that I want to become a teacher of Nia in my next life. And then I went to lunch by myself with a book. I was so happy during those two hours. And that happiness juxtaposed to my current feeling of dread about work. Well, it’s really stark. And it does remind me that I am doing the right thing by quitting. But I wish I was done already.
*Nia (Neuromuscular Integrative Action) is this wonderful, wacky, exhilirating movement practice that combines various kinds of dance arts (jazz, modern, and Duncan) with various kinds of martial arts (tai chi, tae kwan do, aikido), and healing arts (Feldenkrais, Alexander Technique, and Yoga). It’s a workout yes but so much fun, I’m always finding myself grinning when I practice.