Posted by: turtlebella | 30 October 2006

Slovenly and slatternly

I’m going to take a break from the blogging- both writing and reading- for awhile.

For a bit now I’ve been struggling with some depression. Bunch of crappy and semi-crappy things going on, my sister is dying of cancer, I’m under a bit of stress at work, which I still hate, and some other stuff that I can’t articulate. But it’s meant that I am being relentlessly hard on myself. Which takes the form of my inner voice beating me up at every turn. Which culminated in me waking up the sqvirrl in the middle of the night and announcing, “I am slovenly and slatternly.* I am a really bad person,” and then bursting into tears. It sounds kind of funny now, but it wasn’t at the time. Moreover, this kind of thing has happened multiple times over the last couple of days. So need to take some mental space time to work things out. And since the work, it’s the blogging that to give me that time.**

So, all 7 of my loyal readers, I’ll catch ya on the flip side.***

*The sqvirrel pointed out I am probably not slatternly in the sense of being slutty or whore-ish. But I like the alliteration and the Dickens-like atmosphere of the phrase

**If time is not linear, then why is my time still so limited. Why hasn’t someone figured out how to co-exist in several moments at once so that I could do all these things at once. Also, while I’m in the realm of physics-that-I-do-not-understand, teleportation for humans would be nice by now.

***What does this phrase mean, anyway?



  1. As one of your seven readers, I can say we will miss you, Turtlebella. But I do understand why you’re stepping back for a bit: blogging can be pretty demanding, and you’ve got a lot of other stuff to worry about for now. Thank goodness for the Sqvirrel! It is comforting to know he has your back.

    I wish you peace. Come back to us when you can.

  2. Aw, crap, just came to add the link today and but well. Take care of yourself, peace and strength to you and to your sister. Come back when you can.

  3. I think I am three of your seven readers, and will miss at least three times more than you imagine. But please know that I’m thinking about you, whether you’re blogging or not, and that I’m wishing for you relief from depression and stress.

    Hugs to you and the Sqvirrel!

  4. That should be “miss YOU at least three times…”


  5. As another of your seven readers, I just want to know that you will be in my thoughts (and remain in my bloglines) until you decide to return. You have such interesting and insightful entries. Please take care of yourself.

  6. I must be #6 of your 7…
    Take care and look after yourself. Sorry you’re going through all this. xxx

  7. I must make number 7! I’ll miss you too, but I hope that your break brings you to a good place. Best of wishes to you and to your sister.

  8. HA, I’m number 8—which means that you have *thousands* of readers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    hermana, take care of yourself. you deserve it.

    i heart you and think of you with care and tenderness always,

    ps. when i, myself, am feeling better, i will totally answer your email!!!! :p i did get it tho, and it meant the world to me….

  9. Sometimes it is really healthy to take a break. I hope your time off is restorative ….

    We’ll miss you.

  10. {{{Turtlebella}}}

    We’ll miss you, and we’re thinking of you and your family.

  11. I love that this post in which you assume that you have seven readers already has 10 (now, with me, 11) comments! You’re underestimating how many Turtlebella fans there are! :)

    Anyhow, I just wanted to send hugs and let you know I’ll be thinking about you while you go through all of this…We’ll be here whenever you need us and whenever you come back.

  12. Looks like you’ve got way more than seven :)

    And that means that more than seven people are thinking of you and your sister and wishing you both (return of) health and happiness.

    Take care of yourself.

  13. I’m sorry things are stressfull turtle. I’m going through a ‘what does it all mean thing’ as well.–I don’t know if I should call it that. Take a break and take care of yourself. I wish you and your sis’ the best.

    I’m attempting to quell my little spill of depression with a WoC reading group I hope to start in the bay area. We’ll see if it works.

  14. be well. remember the colder months can be harder. spring’s not far away. :)

  15. Ah, feel the love. :) I’ll miss your comments over at my place.

  16. Hope things feel better soon. I am so sorry about your sister; I know it must be very hard right now.

    But you will be missed and thought of!! Take care.

  17. (((((Turtlebella))))))) Know that you’re missed, and held in our thoughts. I’m so very sorry about your sister, and about the midnight stress attacks. I hope you and the sqvirrel take care of each other. May your break bring you rest and respite.

  18. I’ll be thinking of you, too Turtlebella–take care.

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