It’s a meme! I have something to write! I have been singularly silent on Slow but Steady lately. Doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing. There’s plenty afoot on the blogosphere that I’ve felt impelled to comment upon- making friends (and poopies) over at Phantom‘s, reading about racist, imperialist fascist feminists over at brownfemipower‘s… But haven’t felt impelled to actually write anything of my own.
Have you had sex in the past 24 hours? No.
Are you gay? I prefer the term ‘queer’ thanks.
Do you have hairy legs? Yes. Not a political statement though. More like a statement of my incredible laziness.
Do you smoke anything? No.
Do you like monkeys? Sure. In a general monkeys are interesting animals kind of way.
How many fillings do you have? Zero. but the fear that I need some keeps me from going to the dentist.
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Ocean. Group up with it. Less slimy weedy stuff on the bottom.
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries? No no no! Is there a good reason to do this?
Have you ever read the Bible? I think I probably had to read some in Catholic Dogma and the biblical exegesis class I took in high school. It clearly didn’t make too much of an impression, did it?
Did you ever go to Sunday School? Excuse me, but Catholics (of whom I was once one) don’t call it that. It’s called CCD and it’s usually held on Wednesday evenings (who knows why). And yes, I went to CCD when I was not enrolled in Catholic school.
Do you wear a lot of black? Yes.
Did you ever bring a weapon to school? No. Of course, I’ve never brought a weapon anywhere.
Have you ever hugged a tree? Is this a metaphorical question. Like, are you a tree-hugger? If so, probably some would consider me a tree-hugger. If not, then well, yes, I generally hug small birches and place my ear on them and then shake’em to hear that funny echo-ey sound. huh, I realize this sound weird. Never said I wasn’t weird.
Do you know what a sphincter actually is? Yes. That PhD in biology has to mean I know something after all.
Describe your hair? At the moment? Greasy and mussed up from sleeping much much too late and being to lazy to get in the shower. Much better to blog than take care of personal hygenie (I am sure that’s not how you spell that word but that I spelled it with a genie in there makes me giggle).
Are you a wildbeast? I really don’t know what this question is getting at. Of course I’m not a wildbeast. But what is that? A wild beast? A wildebeest?
Do you like to have fun? Um, it’s fun. Of course I like it. But I’m not bitter and full of hate. At least not all the time.
Do you like drama? Sadly, yes.
Have you ever taken a bong hit? Yes, in college.
Do you like mayonnaise? Yes.
Are you afraid to die? When in an airplane, yes absolutely. When I think about how it means I won’t get to be with the sqvirrel anymore, yes. Otherwise, not really.
Do you like playing in leaves? Yes, until I remember that the Big White (our dog), and presumably other dogs too, likes to pee on piles of leaves. eeewwww.
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult? No.
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult? No.
Are you an adult? I guess so.
Ever won a spelling bee? No.
Do you ever eat because you’re depressed? Sometimes.
Are you a television addict? I hope not.
Do you think OJ was guilty? Yes.
Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? Yes. Especially now that she’s promised not to make comments about her opinion on my weight.
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub? I think this is kind of an icky idea, so, no.
On a swing? No. I can’t really imagine the contortions I’d have to go through. Wow, I guess my sex life is boring boring boring. Well, I don’t think it’s boring but perhaps other people would think so, given that I have sex in like my house. But I’m old, no one wants to see a pair of over 30s going at it in strange places, much less do I want to visualize that.
Do you like Elvis? Gotta love Elvis.
Do you enjoy watching animals “do it” on the Discovery channel? No.
Ever been hit on at a zoo? No.
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger? No.
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys? Yes. As long as this is referring to the tryptophan that you ingest in eating a turkey. Live turkeys, while cool (well, wild ones are cool), are not at all what you would call calming animals. Clare didn’t have any idea what this question was about, probably cos she doesn’t get to celebrate Thanksgiving where everyone goes into a post-meal stupor. I loooovvve Thanksgiving! Second favorite holiday.
Does your mom think someone is hot? I really haven’t the foggiest idea.
Are you a sugar freak? I prefer the term ‘sweettooth’ thanks.
Ever been arrested? No.
Ever commit a crime and get away with it? Of course. (I didn’t murder anyone, don’t worry).
Do you like orange juice? Yes.
What sign are you? Sagitarrius.
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly? I’m afraid that I don’t know what the ‘party boy dance’ is. So no, I could not have done it in front of the elderly or anyone else.
Where do you wish you were right now? I’m good.
Did you enjoy this? Yes.