Can one die of flu-like aches. I think I might. I'm seriously in a lot of pain.
It's like little aliens are scooping out my flwsh with dull spoons. On my legs. On my arms. On the sides and back of my torso. And the evil aliens are conducting biospsies of my tonsils- mainly the right one- to take back to their world to study. They use very sharp needles to do this and apprently need many, many samples as they've been at it for almost a day now. Swallowing is a special kind of torture. If only the aliens would tell me what they want me to say…I'd say it already! Recently the aliens have begun tobu9ild small stuructures in my sinuses, of tiny yet weighty bricks. Maybe they've decided to kae up permanent residence sine my tonsil and othe flesh is so fascinating! And anyone sho has played Three Little Pigs for hours on end knows that brick houses are the strongest and least likely to be blown down by a big bad wolf.
On top of this my left han seems to have permanently fallen semi-asleep. It tingles like it does when I'm feeling symptoms of carpel tunnel but it won't go away. Most odd.
As I am in France, where a duck or to has recently been found dead of the avian flu virusd, I have naturally assumed this must be what I have. It's okay if I die from it, as long as it stops hurting so much. I'm not sure what to do. Eating is the torture of drinking water time fifteen. I literally cannot spend time jumping from trays of seedlings to the holes I have made in the ground for them. My body completely rebels and I have to lie down in the field and wish for the saviour to come soon (even though I don't believe in the – or any – saviour). Reading while trying to ignor the needles and the spoons is nigh impossible. Talking exacerbates the aliens, they don't like the vibration. I guess it meses up their accuracy with their needles. So that also leaves out moaning outloud while lying pathetically in my bed, a la Harry in When Harry Met Sally. My eyes stay closed all the time – even as I type – since perhaps then I will fall asleep and ESCAPE. Of course, this sometimes lead to the following sentences:
t ;ole vobratopms O giess. ot ,esses i[ tjeor acciracu/ Sp tjat a;sp ;eaves pit ,pamomg pit ;pdi wjo;e ;uomg [atjertoca;;u om ,u bed. a ;a Jarru om
I'll leave this here. And hope the next time my five readers read this blog I will be feeling better! (I'm not asking for full recovery, just a marginal decrease in the alien population residing in my body!)